


And then, hate me

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Ficlet, Hand Jobs, Introspection, Lies, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 13:38:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14473872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: It was all about Kei, it had always been like that.





	And then, hate me

Kota didn’t know how it had ended up like that.

Maybe it was just his desire, maybe it was lust, maybe it was just that he was a man, and he had his needs.

He had start to hate that situation so much.

He felt Hikaru’s body on his own, and he felt it was just so wrong. He wanted to scream, to run away, but he knew he wouldn’t.

He was just a coward, he had realized it a long time ago, and he wouldn’t have pretended he wasn’t now.

He touched his skin, caressing it like it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, like it was the only one he had ever desired.

When he just wanted to cry out his pain, to tell him that it wasn’t about his body, his hands which kept on touching him, or his blind love.

It was all about Kei, it had always been like that.

Kota brushed his erection, wrapping his hand around it, starting to stroke it, trying not to hear his moans, trying to ignore him and his pleasure, but he just couldn’t do it.

Because it was what he deserved for his sins.

It was what he deserved for lying to him, for telling him that they could have tried to be a couple, to be happy together.

Every night Hikaru asked him if he had forgotten about Kei, and every night he said he hadn’t, until he couldn’t  stand that situation anymore.

_I’m not thinking about him anymore, Hikka._

_I look at him and I don’t feel anything, Hikka._

_I love you, Hikka._

It was a bad joke from him, and he wasn’t much proud of it.

But it was all he needed to go on, it was all he needed to make Hikaru shut the hell up, and keep on giving to him what he was looking for.

It was a matter of sex, and it didn’t matter if he imagined Kei instead of him.

It was all a matter of pleasure, but just his own, and Kota right at that moment was hating Hikaru and his moans, and the way his orgasm approached, while he was moving his hand on him faster.

He took the head into his mouth, sucking on it, trying to make things faster, hoping it would end soon.

And then it happened, he felt Hikaru shake a bit, and then he was coming into his mouth, down his throat, and he tried not to pull away too quickly, while the hate he felt for him grew, and grew, and grew.

Hikaru looked at him and smiled. Happy.

Kota could just look down, he didn’t want to see those eyes.

It wasn’t right for him to hate Hikaru.

Right now, with Kei’s face in his mind and Hikaru’s taste in his mouth, the only one he could really hate was himself.


End file.
